Losing My Mind
by Nobalee
Summary: In Season 4 episode called "Losing My Mind" when Greta dies and they find out that Andre was real. I changed the episode a bit. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

This idea just popped into my mind when I was re-watching Season 4 of Grey's Anatomy (cuz I bought the season :) anyway, this will be a short story and...yeah so enjoy. If you like it, I can continue it if not, then I won't waste my time.

During "Losing My Mind" when Greta dies and they meet Andre, then Meredith walks out of the patient's room crying.

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"I'm really sorry for your loss. Excuse me."

Derek left the room as soon as Meredith did. He ran down the hall trying to find her.

He opened every on-call room, every supply closet and still couldn't find her.

_Where could she be?_

Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.

He ran so fast to the resident's locker room but stopped in front of the door. He put his ear to the door to hear if anyone was in there. All he heard was crying and knew it had to be Meredith.

He slowly and cautiously opened the door and walked in. Her back was facing him so she didn't see him and got up from the bench to walk to her locker. She sniffled and tried to recollect herself.

"Meredith…"

She turned around surprised.

"What do you want?" she said coldly and turned her back to him, pretending to be getting something in her locker.

"I just… wanted to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine."

"Of course you are." He said sarcastically.

She turned around and got right in his face and said:

"What do you want me to say?! You were right okay! We should have waited! I was wrong! If we waited just a little longer she wouldn't have died without saying goodbye to the love of her life! "

She took a pause to breathe. When she started speaking again, her voice was softer.

"If I wasn't so close-minded that love didn't exist because of what happened to us then I would have waited for him to come, no matter how long it took him I would have waited…So to answer your question honestly no, I am not fine."

Meredith turned around and walked back to her locker to calm down.

It was so quiet that it seemed like eternity before Derek started to speak again.

"That's not fair."

"What?"

"It's not fair. You can't use what happened to us your reason to not believe in love because…"

He stopped.

"Because…" Meredith intervened.

He walked closer to Meredith to clear the distance between them. He whispered in her ear harshly:

"Because I was in love with you then as much as I still am now. What we had was real love. Maybe it wasn't real to you but it is for me. You are the love of my life. Just because I'm with Rose it doesn't mean I'm over you. I'm just trying harder to forget you but you make it so damn impossible… It's not fair that we are the reason you don't believe love exist."

After that was said, they just stared at each other, with Meredith not knowing how to respond and Derek waiting for her to respond was silence.

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Review if you like it. Review if you hate it.


	2. Chapter 2

During "Losing My Mind" when Greta dies and they meet Andre, then Meredith walks out of the patient's room.

Did I not say I'd update ? ;) Yeah, it's incredibly short but I'm feeling like crap so enjoy it. xD

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"_Because I was in love with you then as much as I still am now. What we had was real love. Maybe it wasn't real to you but it is for me. You are the love of my life. Just because I'm with Rose it doesn't mean I'm over you. I'm just trying harder to forget you but you make it so damn impossible… It's not fair that we are the reason you don't believe love exist."_

_After that was said, they just stared at each other, with Meredith not knowing how to respond and Derek waiting for her to respond was silence._

* * *

Meredith was speechless. She had no idea what to do. So she did what she knew. Avoid.

"Uh, I have to go…I'm meeting Cristina and uh… I have to go…"

Derek looked at her with incredulous eyes.

Meredith was about to walk away from Derek but he stopped her by grabbing her by the arm.

"Ow, Derek let go of me!"

"No, you're not going to avoid me. I told you I love you and all you can say is, "I have to go"?"

"Well what do you want me to say?! I love you too?! You're the love of my life and you always will be?! Seriously Derek! What do you want from me?!"

"For once in your life, can you just tell me how you feel?! Stop running away! Just talk to me!"

"Why does it matter to you?! You don't get to know how I feel! You're with Rose!"

"Yes I'm with Rose! But I'm in love with you! Just because I'm with someone else it doesn't make my feelings suddenly go away!"

"Can you not see what's happening?!"

"What?!"

"It's déja-vous! History repeating itself!"

"What do you mean!"

"This is Addison all over again. You say you love me. You say you'll leave her. You decide you can't decide. I beg. You dump me. I'm broken. I can't do that again Derek! You know how hard it was seeing you with her everyday?! Do you know how hard it is seeing you happy with her?!"

"Why do you always insist on bringing Addison into this?! I said I was sorry!"

"It's not about Addison! It's all you!"

"No, this is about you and me!"

"Derek, there is no you and me! Get that through your brain! **There is no you and me!** There is a you and Rose!"

Derek just exhaled and shook his head, staring at Meredith harshly.

"What? Are you gonna tell me I'm wrong? Or, that you'll leave her too?"

Meredith can see that he was getting angrier by every word that came out of her mouth but she could care less.

Derek said nothing.

"Exactly. So, don't tell me you love me. Don't say I'm the love of your life because at the end of the day, you'll be going home to her...Goodbye Derek, have a nice life with Rose."

And with that said, Meredith left the locker room and Derek with his thoughts.

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Review my crap update. :)


	3. Not a Chapter

N/A Sorry I've been neglecting this story but I can't finish it! It's too hard.  Sorry guys. I'll stop writing fics I suck anyways xD


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